We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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