dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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