please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
