Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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