Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
