Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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