i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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