i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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