I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
