I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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