..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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