Can i not drive my cunt home
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize