If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Who died my cat blue again?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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