ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize