Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
