So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
