Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
40s are totally the cure
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
