i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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