I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
