Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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