i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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