Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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