Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
