3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
