Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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