Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
