the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
