So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
