Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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