Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just gift wrapped bread.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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