Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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