my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
