i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
