A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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