My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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