why didn't you poke me back
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
