i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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