The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
