I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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