I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize