I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My vagina just recognized that song.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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