ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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