her vagine was all disorganized.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
