all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
