I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
