so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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