Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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