I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
