who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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