Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
