Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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