You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
