i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
