I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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