You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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