yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
