i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
