You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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