I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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