I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
