You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
