no, he came in my armpit
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
